Moving on...

Well, I've had to relocate my blog. Bummer eh...apparently blogger.com is blocked by Chinese authorities or something, so I've had to move to Xanga.com:

Here's the link to my new blog:

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=dearbarbie

Yeah, have fun and all that :( Please read it there instead! God, the URL is massive!

I'm going to look for somewhere better to host it...

After I've been shopping...

Kim x

Not long to go

...?

2 weeks and 5 days, baby!!

How totally cool is Salvador Dali? I really love Le Tigre, it's one of my favourite paintings. Ooh, I really must haul my ass to The Louvre before the end of the year - I guess I need to go back to Paris to see Vannak, Christelle, Martine and Phil anyway! It's been over a year!!

Woooo, I tried to leave work early yesterday. I am scheduled to leave next Saturday, then to take a week and a half's holiday. I just was so wound up yesterday, I offered to hand in my notice and leave in a few days (bringing my holiday period forward). But I guess doing that means I'll get paid a week's less wages - not that it would account for much. I had a bit of a rant, okay it was quite a significant rant, about being underpaid at work. Didn't go down too well...

I've been in touch with a guy from the CAUC, where I'm going to teach in China! He's been there a few months I think, told me about my apartment (western toilet, woo!), and apparently I have broadband and a really trashy computer in there, and it looks like I'm going to have an apartment to myself!

Socially, this week is panning out to be a bit, erm, rubbish. Monday was meant to be spent with Ben at Monday Night Oak Quiz, Tuesday was Rowan, tonight was meant to be at a gig with Dale, Thurs and Fri are open, and Saturday I'm having my random rendezvous (a few mates just coming over to consumer copious amounts of alcomahol)...but Monday, Ben was working late, so I got my ass kicked at pool by Ro. Last night he came over for a film and then I kept falling asleep - nothing like giving a man confidence, eh!! Tonight, well, the band Dale and I were going to see have cancelled, and Dan's not available either. :@ :( Ahhhh well. I may even go to the gym later.

Nah, it's not gonna happen.

Muchas apologised for my unecessarily depressing last entry - I think it was the comedown from the weekend meets reality of leaving the country again. On that note, got a really random apology from David for being a bit of a git, and that's cool. He's a decent enough bloke so looks like I may have made a new beer and pool partner, but that's it.

I have stolen this from omletteman's China blog.

You scored as Mindfuck. Congratulations, you scored Mindfuck. You've probably seen a lot of movies, and have grown to hate mainstream shit. You're looking for the movie that will leave you breathless, and with 21 questions to think about. Check out: Donnie Darko, Being John Malkovich, Pulp Fiction, Memento. Artistic 75% Sadistic Humour 75% Mindfuck 75% Drama/Suspense 60% Romantic Comedy 45% Sci-Fi/Fantasy 25% Mindless Action Flick 15% Movie Recommendation. created with QuizFarm.com

Ooh and this too:

Last Cigarette: no no no no no
Last Alcoholic Drink: Hmmmm, beer on Monday night
Last Car Ride: The mummobile taking me to Leeds on Monday night
Last Kiss: Last night ;)
Last Good Cry: when I found out Ally was engaged, months ago...aannyway.
Last Library Book checked out: some Uni textbook months ago
Last Movie Seen in Theatres: The Incredibles
Last Book Read: The one I'm reading now is 'A Hundred and One Days' by Asne Seierstad.
Last Movie Rented: God knows. Saw Finding Nemo last night that didn't specifically belong to me?
Last Cuss Word Uttered: It could have been anything!! Nothing yet today tho.
Last Beverage Drank: Orange juice
Last Food Consumed: Gluten-free pasta and a totally badass sauce thing!
Last Crush: I couldn't possibly divulge such classified information :p
Last Phone Call: Kamran last night, do missed calls count?
Last TV Show Watched: This really cool Sahara thing where a caravan of camels goes through the desert!
Last Time Showered: Last night, and in about 30 mins
Last Shoes Worn: Black Work Shoes #3
Last CD Played: Travis - 12 Memories
Last Item Bought: Yesterday's lunch
Last Download: Erm, God knows, Howie Day I think....
Last Annoyance: Dan not being free tonight...
Last Disappointment: Not calling in sick at work yesterday
Last Soda Drank: I don't drink that crap!
Last Thing Written: This, and an e-mail to Rowan
Last Key Used: House key
Last Word Spoken: 'Alright, see you whenever then...' probably, it's all I ever say!
Last Sleep: About 2 hours ago...
Last IM: It was from David apologising.
Last Weird Encounter: I'm always having them, they seem normal lol!
Last Ice Cream Eaten: An eclectix mélange of mint choc chip and raspberry pavalova! May have it again for breakfast!
Last Time Amused: Walking home from the Doctor just now realising that my Chinese adventure is imminent!
Last Time Wanting To Die: I haven't wanted to do that for a very long time. It's just silly.
Last Time In Love: 9 months ago. The jury's still out on whether it will happen again before I'm 40.
Last Time Hugged: Last night by Rowan, after lots of hugs at work
Last Time Scolded: Weeks ago, probably after voicing my opinion at work.
Last Time Resentful: Am I not always resentful about something?!
Last Chair Sat In: Leather sofa. Not comfortable.
Last Lipstick Used: I wear lipgloss!
Last Underwear Worn: The ones I'm in now!
Last Bra Worn: Funky turquoise one!
Last Shirt Worn: Green shirt for Grad Last
Webpage Visited: TheBoarder.co.uk

Okay, so that wasted about 5 mins off my day off! Thanks Omletteman!!

Kim x

Not yet, but...why now?

I have just shed tears for the first time since I discovered I was leaving for China.

It's all starting to feel very weird. I had my injections today and now it's all falling into place.

These man situations are no good for me, I need to stop them now, I'm going to end up regretting getting involved.

I try my hardest to mentally thank the person for the time I had with them. To be grateful that they were part of my life for even 5 minutes, like a customer at work, or someone smiling in the street. Tonight, I told Rowan that for all I know, I could never see him again, and I'd be okay with it but thankful for it.

But I don't necessarily deem that to be true. I'm really starting to like him, a lot. I feel comfortable in his company and he says he feels comfortable in mine.

But in 3 weeks I go to China for 6 months.

Man, I'm really pessimistic today. Feeling a bit rubbish from eating some wheat stuff. And pondering too much.

Dan even seems to be playing with my head - one of my best mates!

I spoke to David online when I got home from a few beers with Ro', he was trying to get my to strip on my webcam and when I refused and scarpered to bed, he sent me a message saying 'I do like you, don't just want that.'

Yeah I like you too and I'm going away in 3 weeks so why don't we just have some fun?!

Whatever, I can't do that. He's fit, he knows it, and wants to make the most of it. Am I too cynical? I think not.

Kim x

Starsigns...

...interesting...


I'm an Ariean. For those who know me, and the qualities that an individual born under such a starsign should hold, this is probably obvious. For those who aren't, it could explain a few things!:

fiery
passionate
independent
ruler
source
activity
change
movement
identity
self-conscious
self-aware
assertive
freedom
impulsive
innocent
quick
aggressive
egocentric
indecisive
energy
will
accomplishment
bold
strong
leader
extrovert
courageous
determined
competitive
domineering
intolerant
initiative
romantic
offbeat
charming
spontaneous
enterprising
confident
friendly
enthusiastic
generous
frank
candid
inspired
imaginative

These are a few words I found on the internet that aim to explain the Ariean character. A lot of people don't believe in astrology, however, I'm torn, and am interested. I seem to display all of these qualities, randomly, and I love this quotation I just found...

"You may appear to dislike men due to your extreme independence. However, nothing could be further from the truth."

It's so me. Are elements of your personality depicted in your starsign?

Night!x

Graduate

...and going into hiding!


Today I got asked if I've ever been told that I look like Jennifer Aniston. The answer to this statement is that, yes, I have been told this on numerous occasions, with increasing correlation as I get older. Wonder if I'd get told more if I returned to blonder hair...?

This photo I chose for this entry's a little bit random, and was taken last night.

I'm having a really surreal year so far. Everything has turned on its heels ever since New Year. I'm going to China after been offered a job I didn't get, I've been going out with normal men, and I was wearing a mortarboard earlier today. This week has been exceptionally weird. The graduation, seeing Rowan, meeting David, seeing Adrian for the first time in ages...counting down the days until I leave.

Let me tell you about my weekend.

I met Adrian in Derby yesterday afternoon, and we went for a mooch about Derby, then to our B&B to get ready...went for a drink in Susumi (ace Japanese style bar) then onto a Cantina seen as they don't do food anymore :( Then onto Revolution for shots, then to the SU for a jazz/Frank Sinatra stylee evening. In typical Kim and Adrian style, we took photos of each round so we could check how much we'd consumed in the morning!




Can remember dancing to Loveshack twice, doing the twist with lots of random lecturers and parents...and walking down the University driveway freezing cold!!

This morning we headed over to Campus after being picked up by my folks. Got all gowned up...



...had my photos taken...




...thanked my Course Leader, David...



...then met up with unexpected people - my course, International Business, only had 3 Engish people on it - there were 17 Spanish (I think), a Serbian, and 7 French - so I only expected to see 2 other people...but most of the other students had come over for their Graduations too, even though they only studied at Derby for one year, so it was of course great to see them!




Then we mingled a bit more, then got a coach to Derby Assembly Rooms, where the ceremony was held:



And that bit's a little bit obvious really...I have a lovely blurred pic of me getting my certificate, but it's a bit pants to post :P

Here's me and Pablo, and Sarah too...




Then I mingled a bit more with my folks and Adrian:




I was going to get all philosphical with this entry. I'm supposed to be in bed but can't sleep. Check me out, I'm all grown-up!



Well, sort of.

Sent a few drunken texts to Rowan last night :o Haven't heard from him hahahaha! David wants to meet up tomorrow night tho. God, rereading that sounds like I'm playing them off each other. I'm not at all. They're probably also meeting up with other ladies. Although, surely not as random as me!

Kim xx

P.S. These pics and the rest will be uploaded to my photo website tomorrow. Sign my guestmap :) xx

What do...

...people in New York do?


You know, when they're dating like a million people and then they start to be more attracted to a particular one? Okay, so I'm in Leeds - it's not exactly NYC, but I've been drawing the odd parallel.

And a lesson learnt from this entry: I should stop analysing everything so much!

Rowan came over last night for dinner, I made him some Korean food then we just sat on my bed talking for hours, kissing, cuddling, just chilling. He's such a calming influence; such a relaxing entity to be around. He left about 1am, but if I hadn't have been falling asleep on him I could have spent the entire night in his company. He also came to see me at work today - to answer a question I sent him by text, but I guess the thought was there. We've only known each other a week, but I've seen hm 5 times in that week. Crazy. When I met him I got the general impression he was after one thing, he seems a bit more worldly-wise than me, I dunno. Maybe I just don't trust people so much as I should. But anyway...

Tonight I went out with David. Nice guy, quite innocent-looking, 28, works in finance...you get the picture. A little bit quiet, but we head over to Elbow Rooms for some pool (so he can whoop my ass!) then to Norman, then back to his apartment. This guy comes across all innocent but pretty much as soon as we got in, he was trying it on...

Maybe it's just the vibes I give out. Maybe it's a case of my age doing me zero favours again.
I mean, we all know it was a bad idea of me to meet people just before I fly to China but what can I do. However, to the gent friends who warned me that advantage could be taken, I thank you :) Not saying that either of these 2 blokes I mention are doing that, it's just a general comment!

I did get a text on my way home from David saying that we should go out again.

And you know what? Because I've seen Rowan so much this past week, I felt a bit guilty about being with David. Oh lordy.

I'm off to Derby tomorrow after my injections, I graduate this weekend and am finally seeing Adrian again :D:D

Kimmeh x

I Want You To Notice When I'm Not Around...

...


Damian Rice's voice is amazing; I'm listening to his version of Radiohead's 'Creep' at the moment, it's a bit more tasteful, although the Radiohead rendition will always be superior.

Yes, you are not mistaken, that's another photo of Tianjin. Hope I get some mental pics like that when I go over. The last decent photograph that I took of any architecture is this, of Angel of the North, near Newcastle:



I have been reinspired with photography. Creativity is missing from my life, and I haven't really picked up my camera since my break-up with Ally in June. So the trusty SLR and digital cameras are coming to China with me, and I'm maybe going to go around Leeds on Sunday with my camera to collect some learning materials for my classes - to take photos of buildings in the city. I've had a bit of exposure to more artistic people in the past few weeks and I really should sort it out!

Today had been pretty surreal. I got up about 4.30. I left the house at about 5.40am. I got the train to Derby about 6.10am. I got to Derby about 7.20am. I got to my final destination at 8.10am.

I went to Rolls-Royce in Derby today for my teacher training, to get my Visa sorted, etc., and to meet the rest of the teachers who I'll be flying out to China with, to work in the Civil Aviation Administration of China (CAAC).

I think there's 10 of us in total, some going to Shanghai, a couple going to Beijing, some going to Guanzhou, and then another place I can't think of. There's two other chicks coming to teach at the CAUC (Civil Aviation University of China) with me: Alexandra and Lorraine, both from Derby area, have both travelled in America. In fact, most people had travelled, but nobody in the group has been to a non-Anglophone country, therefore I'm the only one with an extra language. Well, Lorraine speaks a bit of Mandarin, which could prove useful. Everyone seems really nice, we had a bit of a laugh, so it was really useful to meet the rest of the group - now I have others for moral support!Apparently my accomodation will be quite good too - in my apartment I'll have stuff like a TV (with English channels!), Internet (or at least a computer), microwave, washing machine, the usual furnishings, my own cleaner...although, of course it will be nothing like over here!

I fly at 5.30pm on Tues 15th Feb, from Heathrow, so now I've got an official date and time and everything - it feels a bit more real now...! And I only have 11 days left at Dixons too - well, I finish 2 weeks on Saturday.

I also found out that chocolate should be available in Tianjin - there's a few Expat stores :D

Dan's been a bit strange again. He's doing his whole 'I don't have time for you anymore' thing again. I think I must just attract weird blokes. When I walked into Rolls-Royce today, Liz (interview and trainer type person, really nice) asked if I came with my boyfriend. That would have meant Nick. I said no, and that we had broken up since I last spoke to her. I told her it wouldn't have worked (although at the time I wanted to give it a go while I was over there before I discovered what a prick he is). She told me about a girl who went to China prior to me, whose boyfriend was less than impressed about her going and wanted to call it off, but ended up staying together and visiting her out there. Like that was ever gonna happen with me and him!

It's a really weird thought when I think I will remain single for the next seven months. I mean, I really believe in fate, I could meet my soulmate in the next four weeks, but who'd be interested in staying in touch with me while I'm halfway across the world? It's a rather bizzare feeling.

I mean, since when do people plan their relationships like that, allotting time slots to singledom? I have no interest in Oriental men - that's not meaning to sound bad, I just have never found one attractive, I prefer Caucasians.

Oh, I've also been asked to model for someone :p He won't be saying that after we've been out on Thursday night though :p

Heheh...

Kim x

Sunday Bloody Sunday

...not like that, mind...


Just got in from Rowan's house, where the evening was spent watching Tarantino films (hence the title) and cuddling on the sofa, before getting a little jiggy. I kinda freaked a bit - nothing major, I just want to watch my back in case I'm being taken a bit for granted before I go away. How 19th century of me, you may say, but I have a habit of stuff like this at the wrong time of my life, i.e. while they're seeing girls in America, while they're having major issues, while they're cheating on me...I don't know what I do to people but I just don't need any hassle of someone wanted a casual thing before I go away - I have enough on my mind! I hope I didn't offend him, we arranged for him to come over on Weds, I'm going to cook Korean food. I'm probably overreacting - I mean, I really like this guy even tho we've only met 4 times. Dale told me the other day to get a grip, and I probably should do! He's a really nice guy.

I mean, it is 4 weeks til I go so I should really shut up gibbering!

I deleted Nick's number last night. I was honest and genuine and all I got back was ignorance and abuse. He wouln't leave stuff so I childishly resorted to telling I was out with Rowan when he kept calling. Seems he's got the hint.

Funny thing is tho, I got a text from him this morning 'allegedy' written by a female, saying 'love, you need to get your priorities right, I spent the entire evening with Nick and he's the nicest man I've ever met, you clearly are a slag x'.

GOOD! Please, you're welcome to him and his non-existent personal hygiene habits! So, yeah, why is that funny, you're thinking. Well, when Nick called me to bug me last night, he told me he was out with his Uncle in a Working Men's Club where women aren't generally allowed. The last time I went mental at him (the time he got drunk and accused me of getting of with his mates), he sent me a text from his phone, allegedly written by someone called Mark saying how nice he thought I was and it was a shame it didn't work out.

Whatver!! Haven't heard from him since, thank God, and hopefully I won't ever again. What started out as being friends has finished up as being bitter and childish. There's been no need for his actions. Oh yeah, and after he calmed down last night, after telling me he never wanted to see me again and I could think again about stayin at his on Mon night...he sent me another message about 30 minutes later saying, 'you can still stay if you want'. Someone's schitzophrenic.

On Tuesday, I have teacher training at Rolls-Royce, where Nick works incidentally. I'm going to get a train at about 6am. Hopefully I won't bump into him at the reception, as he has some training too on that day.

I'm too tired to write about the interesting bits of my life!

Night xx

Kim xx

A Brief History Lesson (in more ways than one)...

...


I'm reading about the events in Tiananmen Square, in 1989, which is why you may recognise the picture - 10 points to anyone who knew what it was before I told you :P I knew bits about it, but felt compelled to learn more about it and some of the facts, especially as I'm going to be living about an hour away from where it all happened. It's shocking reading really, that such events could happen in such recent times, in such a culture. My trip is really going to be an eyeopener.

Nick is such a tosser as well. His mum, who lives in Spain, is over for the weekend. Nick lives in Nottingham, and has come up to Leeds for the weekend to spend time with her. He calls me tonight, I'm like, 'why are you wanting to speak to me?' and he thinks I'm trying to argue. I tell him that he should be spending time with his family - I mean, he hasn't seen his mum in months and didn't even get to spend Christmas with her. He then goes mental. I tell him that he could at least have commented on my thoughtfulness. But, he instead informs me that he doesn't think what I say is thoughtful in the slightest. So, I reply with 'how can you be so ungrateful?!' and hang up.

How can one person simply be so pigheaded!?

There really is no need for such an attitude problem.

Now he has the audacity to text me and tell me that he doesn't want anything to do with me?! Has he only just noticed that this is how I feel? He's the one who's always calling me. I replied, apologising profusely for being one of the more kind and genuine souls inhabiting this planet, stating that my gesture was simple, and I don't want anything to do with him.

That complete imbecile has put a downer on my evening. I have a good mind to call him and give him a piece of my mind, and thank him for finally deciding to leave me alone (9 missed calls during a film isn't my idea of fun)...

See, this is why I never normally go for men my age!

I went out with Rowan last night. Whom I also spent Weds night with, and Thursday night, and also will be with tomorrow night, as he's cooking me a meal :) This guy's ace, such a gentleman. Such a lot to talk about. Nice eyes too :p In a 'I only met you a few days ago but keep thinking about you' kind of way.

I finish work in 2 weeks and 6 days! Back of the net!

Kim x

Butterflies In My Stomach

...

God, this picture is of the Leeds skyline; it looks so much cleaner that the cities of our Chinese counterparts, doesn't it? Well, I guess I'll know for sure in 4 weeks and 4 days :P

Got myself a Chinese dictionary and CD thing (thanks Dad) that I'm gonna have a peek at tonight, after a meal for my Mum's 50th birthday...

Got a few missed calls from Nick last night, and then an 'are you ignoring me again?' message? I sense a bit of 'don't know what you've got 'til it's gone'... I don't understand him at all. I'm staying at his on Monday night as I'm doing teacher training on Tuesday in Derby (he lives near there and actually works in the building next door to where I'm going to be based! I was going to have a chat to him about stuff, but it's going to fall on deaf ears anyway.

Last night I saw The Incredibles, which was totally ace! It was comic boook-tastic and I totally recommend that you see it. I wanted to see if before I hauled ass to China, giving me 5 weeks, but I arranged it on Wednesday night, with a guy I met that night. Which was totally random, who is totally cool, and that's all I'm going to say about that!

Bless, my colleagues at work (some who've known me 7 months and some who have known me about 4 years) are organising a leaving party for me, the weekend before I fly (I think). There's a surprise too, am dreading that one, but awwwww, how nice!!

And finally, I live in one of the UK's biggest cities. Why is it totally impossible to buy a bright colourful (not black) diary and address book!?!?!?

Kim xx

She's Got A Ticket To Ride...

Soon, anyway...

I don't know why I'm posting every day at the moment. I guess there's just so much in my head that needs to get out.

I'm finding out more and more about Tianjin all the time, and I only found out I got the job 2 days ago! Today I found out they have sandstorms, they have a Carrefour and a Subway (I mean the sandwich shop - they have McMinging and KFC too but I'm not bothered about those)! Apparently my money will go for miles, especially when even compared to places like Poland? It's also apparently hard to be a foreign woman in China.

The Nick situation's a bit rubbish too. Not worth going into that one tho, with me going away and all. Okay, I may do later, if you're lucky!

Kim x

Well, this is Tianjin...

At least it has a Metro...


Woo, I managed to fleece my parents into paying for my Visa and travel insurance for my birthday present. Bit of a rubbish present, I know, but I've been totally underpaid for the past few months, and I have 5 weeks to get myself all sorted out. I won't be with my family for my birthday anyway, and they will be functional and essential gifts - and one less thing for me to worry about, seen as I also have to fork out for a new businessy wardrobe and my graduation in a week and a half. My folks will also be sorting out my transport to an airport in London, so I guess I've done pretty well in theory.

Got a pretty cheap quote for insurance at a bargain of £122 - my first quote was £300 so I reckon we've done pretty well there.

Check me out. Insurance is sorted, my Visa will be sorted on Tuesday (Rolls-Royce are doing it for me, I just have to leave my passport with them for a fortnight), I have booked my injections for next Friday, and I have already bought a shirt and 2 new pairs of trousers! I've bought a dictionary, language CD, some other book, and a customs book! I don't think that's bad going for just less than 24 hours' work!

I still don't know how I'm going to sort out my baggage - 20kg - can you believe?!
When I went to Paris for 5 months I bought the biggest suitcase I could - I could actually get inside it! I remember having me and my boyfriend sit on it to close it, and at the airport it weighed about double of the baggage limit - so me and my parents were there bagging my essentials up, and my boyfriend had to bring some more stuff over the week after!! That's not exactly possible, but I guess my work clothes will be light, and I can wear all my heavy stuff on the plane. Plus, I'll have money to buy new clothes when there (God, what do they wear over there?!), unlike France, where I was a skint student!!

The reality of my situation is sinking in now. It doesn't feel real; I don't think it will until I have been there 5 months and have come home. I've located some British expat websites that I found when in Paris. However, in Paris we still could get hold of Cadbury's chocolate (although £1) for a Crunchie or something, and Galeries Lafayette did sell Tetley's tea and Jaffa Cakes!

I have a funny feeling that eBay and I are going to be on very good terms, as well as the Chinese postal service when the time comes for me to get all my stuff home!

I read on www.lonelyplanet.com (man, I could read that thing all day, in fact I saw some amazing Lonely Planet books in Waterstone's today. Hint, hint.) that the average income for a Chinese person is about $3,600 per annum. Okay, I'm getting a free return flight, a free apartment and free bills, to a limit (I think), and about £260 a month. I could live on that in the UK - okay, so it's not much, but when I was a student sometimes I lived on that, including paying rent!! So, I reckon I'm going to be considerably loaded in Chinese terms.

Today I also discovered that my teaching contract is only for 5 months - I finish work on 20 July 2005. My Visa has a 6 month duration, so this enables me to travel for a month if I wish to, after my contract ends...!!

This means I could be a possible shopaholic for 6 months - any money I do save won't be worth much in British terms, but in Chinese terms the money will go so much further! Cashback!

Tianjin is also probably the closest part of China to South Korea, is only 1.5 hours from Beijing, and costs about £1.90 to get to (that's RMB30, which is incidentally the average cost of a 3 course meal, or a bottle of beer?! How random!?). Looks like I won't be cooking for 6 months! I find it interesting that a McDonalds meal is about RMB20. I'm not going to be eating that rubbish mind...it's bloody expensive tho!

Kim x

Oh. My. F*cking. God.

...

I. Am. Scared.

I got a phone call at work yesterday. James came over and told me it was my mum and it was urgent. So I answer the call, expecting Dad to have gone back into hospital, and the tone in my Mum's voice seemed to confirm it...until she said the magic words: "How would you like to go to China?"

Yeah.

I don't know if I went through the details of why I never got that teaching job for Rolls-Royce. Well, basically there were 7 jobs and 7 applicants, but then the University that I was to be sent to decided they only had 4 places instead for some reason, so me, having a badass I-Had-Fun-At-Uni 2:2 degree, got put at the bottom of the pile of 2:1 students - as the Chinese decided who to employ. I've probably got that all wrong but it's not so relevant now...So yeah, the fact I got a 2:2 got me all bitter again, the people at Rolls-Royce and my old Uni said how they wanted to recruit me but it was the Chinese who got the final say. The University said that they were quite happy to defer me until the August contingent of teachers were being recruited, and that I'd be on 'standby' in case one of the employed teachers dropped out.

Then I kinda put it to the back of my mind - I've been looking for new jobs, graduate places, and getting ready to apply to go back to University to follow a Masters course.

Until this phone call.

It all turns out that the Civil Aviation University of China, based in Tianjin, have an extra place for a teacher, and I have accepted it.

Wooo!

So at work I was a bit of a nervous wreck - I mean, I fly out in about 5 weeks (15th of Feb, so it's pretty close!), and last night I couldn't eat my dinner for shock and nerves - shame really, as my parents took me out for a meal to celebrate!

So now there's so much to organise...travel insurance, injections (yuck), how the hell I'm going to get all my belongings into 20kg (will have to post myself some things I think, or buy some lighter businessy clothes), what do Nick and I do, who can I convince to save up their hard-earned cash to visit me, my visa, how I will cope with the culture shock, and whether my application for a Career Break at work will get accepted...I have applied to take 6 months holiday, unpaid, from work - so at least when I return I will have at least a job to return to - and I can quit at any time if I want to. At the same time, I'm organising a leaving party at the end of January (read: me and my mates will be gatecrashing my mum's supposedly quiet 50th birthday gathering)...

Me and Ad were supposed to be going to see Razorlight and Kylie in the next few months, I feel a lil' bit bad for leaving him in the lurch with a load of tickets he's bought and hope he can get someone else to take - although, how sweet is this, he's thinking about selling his Razorlight tickets (gig is on 12th Feb in London, and I fly on 15th, so it's too close a call, really), and coming here to spend my last weekend with me - and then coming to the airport on his way home (lives in Kent) to see me off! Do I not have one of the best friends ever?!

I've been reading up at Tianjin on the internet. I feel so lucky. I had such a bad year last year, with depression, stress, breaking up with my long-term man, graduating, endless bad luck, people walking all over me, work, allsorts...and now we're not even a fortnight into the New Year, and I get this news! I also have earnt a £1,000 Christmas bonus at work, and I get paid about 2 weeks before I go to China!

Oh, by the way, that picture at the start of this entry is of the main shopping street in Tianjin.

I think 2005 may be my year.

Right, I'm going to wallow in how lucky I am!

Kim x

Ghost towns and Iggy Pop

Bienvenue...


I've revisited a website I haven't seen in ages. It's here: http://www.kiddofspeed.com/default.htm and is a really good read. It's all about the remains of the Tchernobyl nuclear disaster, and the author visits the abandoned town of Pripyat, which was evacuated after the nuclear reactor went haywire. I reckon you should educate yourself and take a look. You never know when it will come in handy at the pub quiz!

My family, being Ukrainian and Belorussian, are from the region, so it kind of hits home, the photos are really eerie too, it's really interesting. I have never been to the Ukraine but would love to go, maybe I'll go on my birthday, which is quite luckily spread over Easter (b'day is on Easter Monday - get in!) I'm probably not going to have any kind of man to whisk me off my feet and take me away anywhere, so I should probably harass my best mates into coming alone and investigating Eastern European beer! Well, it's more like vodka in that region I guess.

I wonder if I would feel at home in the Ukraine. I feel at home in Scotland, and that's where mum's family are from.

I have totally worked all weekend. Instead of Customer Services at work, I've been put back into the Sales Team again...but I'm hunting for a new job, and looking at Uni so long as I get sufficient Postgraduate funding...

Still not sure what's going on with Nick, keep speaking to each other on the phone, said he was missing me on Friday night, so yeah, every night, well, except tonight. Haven't really spoken to him this weekend, but his ex-girlfriend is visiting I think, so that probably explains things!! He wants me to go and visit this week on my days off, so that means tomorrow night, but he's leaving it very short notice so don't think I'll be going to Notts this week. Ah well, it's not like he's the King of Interested In Kim anyway, and even if he was, he's got a funny way of showing it!!

Went out with Dan last night. I haven't seen him in ages, he's been ill with flu and possible pneumonia. He's not been answering some of my calls and messages, but last night he reassured me that his stalker is still doing his box in majorly and his phone has been in silent mode. I thought this was a blatent excuse but went out last night anyway, and gave him my b'day pressent, and he gave me a cool book! We went to Headingley and had a good laugh - Dan always cracks me up and puts me back into a good mood again. Thing is, the way I know he was telling the truth was that in the car after he dropped me off at my house, well, we always have a massive hug, and he kissed my hair. Then we talked a bit, then had another hug, and then he kissed my neck or some other part of my head.

We have had a really weird relationship over the past 7 months since we became friends. Dan would make a really good guy to settle down with. He's just one of those blokes. Weird.

Kim x

Not harsh...

But totally true...


I'm feeling quite girly at the moment and therefore have decided to celebrate this fact by permitting the airy tones of Britney Spears to emanate from my speakers. Yeah, you gotta admit, Britney does make a girl feel better. I'm also feeling a bit philosophical, so if you don't want to get more confused or inside my head, I suggest you get back to checking your e-mail now!

I've had a pretty random few days. Well not random in anyway that you'd think is random, and I don't feel messed up in my head, but thinking about it sounds random. Er, yeah. So, I get home from work on Sunday and feel pretty rubbish like I've developed some crazy assed flu thing.
I get home, I sit in my ace penguin pyjamas and mong about. I decide to call Nick and see if he feels like company in Derby. About an hour and a half later, I'm on the train to Nottingham to see my ex-boyfriend.

A hug at the station, then we go back to his via his mate's house in a taxi. Let me just remind this guy is my ex, with his hand resting on my leg, acting completely normal. Adrian asked me several times this week if Nick was aware that we'd broken up, and I reassured him that he was totally aware. But now I'm not so sure. Monday was spent chilling out and being pretty coupley actually. In fact, I started to feel bad about the MJ thing - yeah, this is the first time I've admitted any remorse about it. The way I see if, if a guy isn't going to give me attention, I'll get it somewhere else. Brutal, yeah. I'm over that stuff now tho. Spending Monday with Nick was really weird, in a good way. He was showing me random places in Nottingham and I actually felt like he was interested in me.

Something kinda strange also - Nick never said anything about us. I get the impression he's quite closed and never talks about his feelings or relationships. Which sucks; I'd much rather be open. If I'm feeling something, I'll usually say it.

I was supposed to come home last night, but was feeling pretty rubbish still, and kept falling asleep on Nick, so he said I could stay again if I wanted, so I did.

This morning however was pretty rubbish. He set about eighty alarms (well, there were 3 of which I heard...), and you know when you hit snooze for 10 minutes because you can't be bothered getting up. Well, Nick did this for all 3 alarms, but about 6 times, for about 45 mins. One alarm is bad enough, but eighteen?!?!? I was less than impressed!! Instead of the customary goodbye hug, I got a pat on the back as if I was his son before a baseball match, and a 'see you soon' kinda mumble as he walked out the door. And he didn't even get a shower before work! Ugh!

I've been doing a lot of thinking today actually, I'm feeling quite spiritual. I guess I didn't have much choice after having to walk to Nottingham, then get 2 trains, sitting in Derby station for a while too, on the way back home from Nick's.

I was thinking about how I really want to help people in the Tsunami disaster thingy. Like, I just want to fly out there and help people. Pretty unlikely I know. I should probably focus my thoughts on helping people more local to me. I think I'm going to call up the hospital I used to help at tonight, to see if they need any extra volunteers on the radio station.

I've also been thinking about Uni - I want to go back and do a Postgraduate degree so much. However, the funding for the courses I'd do is pretty sparse and probably aimed at higher calibre students than my 2:2 branded ass, so I need to find £6,000 before September. Either that, or I could study part-time. I have been looking at Scottish Universities tho, as they tend to be cheaper on the fees, up to about 50% - and then I could get a Career Development Loan to help me out, and I'd still have enough left from the £8,000 I'd get, to be able to live. It's a bit pants tho. I have friends who are doing funded Postgrads tho, so I should probably ask them where they got them from. Arrrgggghhh.

On the train in a mag I saw this absolutely gorgeous photo of Rachel Stevens. She didn't look too hot in it actually, her eyes looked kinda funny, but it was all moody and funny. I quite like Rachel. There was a quote on it too, something like "I like to think I'm a high-maintenance girlfriend. Why not?". I kinda realised something. I can be quite high-maintenance. I won't normally admit it. But yeah, I like to be taken nice places. I like to be treated like a lady. I really hate it when a guy doesn't act like a gentlemen. I like guys to look the part. I hate it when a man feels he doesn't have to make effor to impress me. I hate it when I hate people embarassing me. I like to be bought nice things. But then again, what woman doesn't?

By the way, if you're actually someone who's not me and reading this, I'd love to see a comment or two from you. As far as I know, Becky, Dale and Mikey have been following my randomness, so you know it would be rude not to say hi :P

Kimmeh x

I've pinched this lil thing...

Oh, I got this in my Xmas cracker by the way!


Instructions:
"1. copy and paste this list into your journal
2. bold the things that apply to you
3. anything that doesn't apply to you, delete it and replace it with something that does"

1. When I was younger I made some bad decisions
2. I like people when it excludes most of my customers at work!
3. I dream a lot
4. I love sleeping
5. I read a lot
6. I can be lazy
7. I fucking hate the hype around the Libertines
8. I get bored easily (how do I double-bold something?!)
9. I love expensive make up!
10. I seem to have a thing about boys a year younger than me and it's unhealthy.
11. I have weird taste in boys
12. I wish I was taller
13. I dye my hair.
14. I write waaaaay too much
15. I like orange juice- but prefer Cranberry with vanilla vodka!
16. I have gained my independence this year
17. I am single
18. I have a lot to learn
19. I love my phone
20. I love Grant Nicholas!
21. I'm prone to mood swings
22. My favourite colour is, well, a rainbow! I simply can't decide.
23. I'm incredibly gullible
24. I feel like i'm still 17
25. I have a younger brother
26. I'm obsessed with music
27. I love oriental food
28. I am more cautious than i used to be
29. I am a night owl
30. I wear glasses occassionally
31. I don't have a partner
32. I love Miffy
33. I wish I could move country tomorrow
34. I get drunk very quickly on beer!
35. I have a thing about Scots
36. I would like to work at for radio!
37. I can talk for hours
38. I want to see the world
39. I like custard
40. I like Pepsi max
41. I am knackered
42. I like new underwear
43. I wish I owned more perfume
44. I love snowboarding
45. I like flowers
46. I like rain
47. I plan on getting a car soon!
48. I spend too much time on the computer
49. I love Morrissey and the Smiths.
50. I like reading about the paranormal.
51. I do volunteer work
52. I was a swot at school. You wouldn't have fancied me!
53. I'm brutally honest
54. I allow people to take advantage, even when I shouldn't
55. I openly admit to loving Britney!
56. I wonder what happens when you die
57. I don't know if i believe in God
58. I am good at doing things on the computer.
59. I LOVE A BAND THAT DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE
60. I like boys that are very, very bad for me
61. I secretly like pop music
62. I like looking at photos of my friends.
63. I like hats.
64. Who is Pharrell Williams?
65. I hate dish washing
66. I am excited about finally graduating.
67. I like languages.
68. I like eBay
69. I want my own flat
70. I dance around the house when I'm on my own
71. I hate feet.
72. I try to always be happy
73. Strangers at the bus stop scare me.
74. I love Weezer
75. I want to go on an adventure!
76. I like drinking vodka.
77. I love old films
78. I wish I'd kept all my old photographs
79. I like badges.
80. I used to wish I was a boy.
81. I used to fancy Brian Molko
82. My favourite Disney film is The Lion King
83. I like cuddling someone under the duvet.
84. I miss having someone on my side.
85. I like teddies!
86. I wear make up most of the time
87. I like to skip!
88. I think my friends are pretty.
89. *I text too much*
90. I read cult books
91. I can't wiggle my nose
92. I used to wish I was good at sport
93. My favourite season is Winter.
94. I don't hate myself most of the time. I think I'm an idiot occassionally
95. I like cooking
96. I'm weird
97. I think my hair is annoying
98. I'm very open
99. I like Daria
100. I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE

How random am I!?

Kimmeh x

Every cloud

...has a silver lining!!


It always ends up going alright in the end...I don't know what I was stressing about. I really must thank Quinney for being a weirdo and cancelling on me, I managed to get some party funds together and go out in Headingley with Pam and Vic, and it was ace. Came home quite early and didn't get past tipsy either - I behaved just like a good schoolgirl should (as that was the evening's theme!) So yeah, we headed to the Skyrack and drank not too much, was totally well behaved, and check this: I didn't even pull either! There were plenty of men about and I got a few feels (haha!) but yeah, I kept it strictly legal!! I do have willpower!! Check out my single bad self! Actually, I seem to be totally man-repellent this week, so it's probably that instead...

I'm hearing more from Nick now than when I was with him? I don't understand men, I really don't!

So New Year's resolutions are as follows:
1) Get my Christmas pudding arse back to the gym
2) Behave myself and keep off the gluten
3) Get a new job that I actually enjoy
4) Move out
5) Learn to drive, or at least buy a car - okay, so long as I drive (even if it's a driving lesson), I have achieved this, hmmkay?

There should be others but those 5 are pretty ambitious...I think if there was to be a 6), it would have something to do with stop going out with weird men. Because that really does have to stop. Like, now.

Happy New Year everyone!

Kimmeh xx