Don't go back to Dalston...

Wow...remember I was telling you about China...?

Well, I got home from a totally bad day at work, and an interestingly rubbish weekend, to find an interview invitation in the form of a lovely letter from The University of Derby! So that's in 2 weeks. I have to seriously plan for it - lesson plans and everything, and I now have 2 days off work so I can use them wisely!

Me and Nick are over, it seems. On Saturday night we went out with his mates for one of their birthdays...just Nick and I went to Firefly for a few which was nice and coupley, I was thinking how much I liked him and he was paying for everything...
We met up with his mates and went to Heaven and Hell - a totally awful club I haven't been in since I was about 17/18 but it wasn't my night so I didn't say anything. Free drinks all night tho, and it wasn't that busy either. I got on with Nick's lad mates really well once ice was broken, which was good, as I didn't want to look a fool. However, he introduced me as 'this is my good friend Kim', which I thought as odd. So yeah, then he goes to the bar and I bump into my ex, Jason, who I was with for about a few weeks, when I was 18. We chat and swap numbers.

Later, I'm dancing with Nick's mates, and Nick comes over - I let him go talk to his buddies, and thought he'd be glad that I wasn't hanging on his arm all evening - and gets all stressy and jealous, and goes off on one in a strop, with his mate in tow worried about him. I thought he was gonna hit one of the other guys....turns out he didn't like me dancing with another guy. And I wasn't even doing anything - we were taking the piss to the music! And this guy has a girlf!
So that was that. He ended up staying over and was fine on the Sunday. I was supposed to go to his on Sunday night - he was gonna cook for me, but I ran out of money and couldn't get there so cancelled. I didn't hear from him much on Sun so I called and we chatted, and rearranged for Weds night.

Anyway, yesterday I didn't hear from him at all. Sometimes I just wonder, I always seem to make the effort, so I didn't call, but gave in and texted him to cancel Weds, cos it didn't feel right. Saying I liked him and he was going away and it was a problem. After a few texts back and fro he stopped replying and I haven't heard from him today, until now on MSN, so it's over between us in my head! He just asked if he can come over to say goodbye before he moves! Whatever!

On a different note, I was feeling totally rubbish as a result last night and Dan picked me up and took me for beer, bless him. Dan totally rocks. Just before he arrived, Jason called. He's a quantity surveyor - almost - in his final year of Uni, and splits his week between Newcastle and Leeds. We spoke for a while and he asked if I'd call back in a few days and we should arrange to do something?!

I need space! I don't understand men and the more I try, the less I want to! Rant over!

Kim xx

Back...

Je suis revenue d'Ecosse...


Aye right, that's me back. Went up to Stirling on the train straight from work on Tuesday night, then got picked up and driven all the way to wee Kinlochard. Was sooo tired as a result. It was a pretty daft journey to make, considering that I would only be there for all of Weds and part of Thursday, but ah well, I would've been bored at home and spent a lot of money.

On Wednesday I met up with my ex Ryan, whom I was with about 4 years ago and it seems insignificant now - by that, I simply mean that I can't remember anything much of it apart from the fact that he wasn't particularly loving. It was more of a case of not having a clue to be honest. I met up with him and his mate Paul in Gap and we went for coffee. The last time I saw him was in May when I ended up kissing him - yesterday confirmed that he has officially become 'fit' since I was with him. I mean, he was nice them, but now he's got a bit of class and good taste and looks really good and so much more grown up than when we were 18!

It was totally weird seeing him but also good too, although it was totally planned at the last minute as he could only spare about an hour (I only gave him about half an hour's notice!). The rest of Weds was spent bumming about Stirling town with my folks, and then in the hotel bar adjacent to our apartment complexy thing, drinking Tennents and doing a pub quiz, as well as talking to Shaun the local (and undeniably famous) storyteller. After a few beers I decided to come clean about Nick to mum - something I had been avoiding for several reasons: a) not sure if he was gonna be a quick fling?, and b) just broken up with Pete. Anyway, she wasn't particularly impressed (when she'd seen us together she said there was no bond although I was trying to conceal any evidence of us being together) and suggested I get together with Dan! No way! Oh man! I also got into a bit of a state when she went on about Ally, and ended up having a good cry, and eventually crying myself to sleep that night! I have no idea why however, but I have been feeling excellent ever since.

Thursday was spent in Edinburgh - a less homely Glasgow in my opinion, but still amazing. I got the train back about 4 and waited for Nick in Leeds Station as he was coming back from Nottingham about the same time.

Ha, Nick. This is where this entry nears interesting. Well, it's about as exciting as it gets I'm afraid...Nick's new job; he starts a week on Monday, so moves out next weekend which is a total bummer. I told myself I wasn't gonna get involved with another long-distance relationship but some friends have been telling me to go for it - if I don't, I could regret not having tried. I like this guy a lot more than I thought and he wanted to give it a go when he moves but today I told him I didn't, then he agreed it wasn't a good idea, but we're gonna have a chat about it on Sunday. I'm regretting making that decision. I guess I will have to see what the week brings, but I guess the fact he's invited me out for his mate's birthday tomorrow night has gotta mean something...!

Typical, just as I find someone I am really starting to like, he gets taken away!

Kim xx

Scotland tomorrow!!

Loch Ard...


Woo I'm going to Scotland tomorrow! This picture is taken from the balcony of my parents' apartment - pretty cool, hey?! Woo, I'll be there in 26 hours or something!

Oh, what I was on about in my last post...as far as I recall...yeah, I'm going to where my most serious recent ex (June) is from...I never got any closure from that relationship apart from him telling me he'd been cheating on me over MSN, so me going to Scotland is the nearest I will get. When I come home on Thurs I will really be able to get on with stuff...I guess, I don't really know how to write it down - what I mean - it will probs sound like I'm not over him. Well, that's how it reads to me. Another weird thing is that my friend Ryan now works in the part of Glasgow that this guy is from, which is gonna be additionally strange...but yeah, it should be good!

Nick got a new job today. Great. Yeah, I guess it is. Don't worry, I'll stop talking about him in a few posts' time when it all goes pear-shaped. Yeah, he got a new job in Derby (we're in Leeds atm) so that's not so ideal. I thought he was only half-interested in me but the way he calls when he finds out I've had a bad day at work, or how he offered to meet me from work tomorrow before I get my train (only cos he's getting a train too mind!) and keeps offering to cook, makes me wonder. He also joked about me going to Nottingham to visit him but that's hardly gonna happen, is it? Well, knowing my track record for long distance relationships anyway. Ah well, I may actually get a job interview this week to go to China anyway. Shame really. I can honestly say I like this guy and I'm not fooling myself like I was with Pete.

Pete's pestering me on MSN at the moment. I just told him the real reason I broke up with him and he seems to have shut up. He was going on and on about how heartless I am and how I'm 'evil and sick and twisted' (which I was pretty proud of!), but now he realises he was in the wrong so its all good. Weird. I am such an arsehole magnet.

Grrr! And work is rubbish! It's just really really super uber really rubbish!! If I don't get this job in China (where I would work where I am until Feb), I will be leaving as soon as I can - i.e. if I don't get a job interview, I will start looking for work next week!

Kim x

Kim xx

Two-thirds of Team T-Bar...Me and Rob at the Dixons Conference in Manchester

Lalala...

So, my parents have gone to Scotland. Erm, I'm going up for a few days on Tuesday night. Am in 2 minds about it. There's a lot of crazy sentimental stuff (i.e. exes) related to that part of the country that I may elaborate on later, but I'm pretty crapping myself about going up there!

Work was pants today. Like, really rubbish. It started off okay, then I was on a roll with so many customers that I kept giving so many of my sales away (although I'm on a commission-based pay structure). But, then it just went downhill and I almost never got home and argh! I was so stressed out by the time that I left the shop that I was ready to burst into tears!
Today I was talking with Rob, one of the Deputy Managers at work, and he said I was actually a Manager on Sundays and Mondays, which is a bit scary. He also told me that when he gets promoted to a higher deputy position, I will get his job. Argh!

That's scary man, I don't think I want it. It seems a bit too grown-up, man.

Nick quit on Tuesday which is cool because I don't have to worry about people at work finding out about us.

All in all, it's been a random week. Work's been work. Weds night, I met up with Nick for food (although Dan is my alibi, haha) at Norman, then we joined up with the guys at The Ship before I proceeded to Fab Café and finished up staying at Nick's. What am I all about, man? Living like I'm at Uni isn't so good. Well it is, apart from I don't get any lie-ins!! Thursday was spent monging at Nick's, buying weird stuff at Holland and Barratt's, sitting in Starbucks with Kamran having to justify to him why I broke up with Pete, and then at 5pm I had a work Xmas conference to go to in Manchester. Which was, essentially, the Area Manager Craig kissing the Operations Director's arse a lot, a presentation, and awards giving, then free food and free bar :D Wasn't as good as last year's but still was a laugh :D It's where the photo is from :D

I cooked for Nick last night too, which went to plan, then we just chilled and supped wine. Again, Dan was my alibi there. I don't really want too many people to find out about Nick just yet - only Dan, Ad, Kam, and the guys at work know. I'm so crap with men that I don't want too many people to find out because I'm still not sure about his motives just yet. Cynical I know, but I'm pretty capable of fucking people about, as we well know, so I'm sure he could be too! Luckily, the 'rents are away for the moment. Not sure what's happening when they get back tho!

The shortlisting for China starts tomorrow. I am absolutely babbing myself. I will probably cry if I get an interview, and I will also cry if I don't. Getting this job really means a lot to me at the moment.

Kimmeh x

My week...

Woo, it's all been interesting from Thursday! Nick (from work) and I went out and I can't remember much besides snogging his face off, hahah! Which was random, and he didn't show for work on Fri. We went out again last night, after a dinner party thing at my parents' place, to see my mate Mike's band, then to Fab Café after. Ick, the 'B' key on this keyboard has something sticky on it. I'll finish this later when I can be bothered.

So, yeah, um...shoeboxes.

Wow, so much happening...!


My God, where do I start about my past week...I seriously recommend that you get a beer and a cushion before you sit down and read this. Not that anyone will, as I only really use it because I have such an awful memory and can never remember anything major, although I now have readers! :D By the way, the pic is of me and my two best mates, Dan is on the left, and Adrian is on the right, so you and I can both put names to faces. Hope you're happy now.

Annnyyywayyy, right, yeah, I last mentioned Pete's inability to get to Leeds while hungover. Fine, after stropping for a day or two about it and boring my mates with my incessant moaning, I got over it.

So, Wednesday being my day off, I decided to haul ass to Liverpool to surprise him and take him out for dinner, and also have a 'talk'. I had told him that I'd thought about it so assumed he would be expecting me. So I got the train, 2 hours later I'm in Lime Street and his phone is turned off. 2 hours later, the shops have all closed and there's me talking to a Big Issue dude and still Pete's phone is coming up with voicemail. I call his house, he's out according to his ma, so after waiting for even longer I get the train home. He reckoned his phone was on the whole time and his network must have been down or something, yeah. So that was another strike down.

He came up on Saturday, to Leeds, to stay the night. I broke up with him on Sunday morning and won't bore myself with the details. However, I was a bit concerned about how badly he took it. Who am I kidding?; no I'm not. I don't have to care about anyone but myself again. Being selfish is so empowering.

So, back to normal life. No more long distance relationships for me, that was most definitely my last. I may have to move though, there is a serious man drought in Leeds. Sunday aft/evening was spent drinking with Dan (Yellow Card-tastic!) and then we met up with Nick, a bloke I work with, then Dan went home, and I can't remember much else about that. I've been super boring this week, I have no money left (thanks to my wasted Liverpudlian jaunt) although Dan is funding tonight's activities (at The Ship) and tomorrow night I am supposed to be going out with Nick again but I'm not so sure it's going to happen. Friday is either a mate's gig or sleeping, Saturday is a dinner party, and Sunday is a meal. Woo go me.

I'm in two minds at the moment. Half of me wants to carry on fucking everyone about and being a complete bitch to everyone. And the other half wants to be nice to people and stuff. Yesterday was awful: I will never achieve world domination if I carry on helping out people at work and sending shoe boxes to the Ukraine. Oooh, go here, and send one too: www.samaritanspurse.co.uk. Yeah, ok, that's enough of that.

So yeah, I'm back.

Kimmeh xx

Yesterday I was so annoyed!!

Right, a bit of background first. My boyfriend only lives 2.5 hours away on the coach - a lot for someone living in the UK, but I know for you Americans it's not that much distance. Well, we don't ever know when we can see each other next as I work in a shop and we're getting busy for Xmas (never allowed weekends off atm) and he works a Mon-Fri job, but for the past month its been every weekend.

So Sat night, he has this black tie dinner thing to go to. We were not seeing each other this weekend but on Sat afternoon I found out that my manager had given me today off. It was not enough notice for me to go home and pack a bag to go and see my man, but we decided he was going to come here for the day on Sunday.

So, Sunday morning, I don't hear anything from him so I call about 11.15...he was to get the 12 midday coach to Leeds, spend a few hours here, and go back in the evening. But, on Sat night, he got so blind drunk that he was so ultimately hungover yesterday, he couldn't make it to see me . I offered to go to his city even though it would take about 3 hours (transport from my house is awful) but he still said he is too ill. And seen as I got so wasted on Thurs and broke my bank card, I have only a few quid until my replacement card turns up at the end of this week...!

There were two things particularly annoying me about this...: He knew he was seeing me yesterday, so why did he have to drink so much? He said he wasnt buying drinks, his friend kept buying them and it was rude to refuse? And, we never know when we are going to see each other next...so going back to reason 1), to me, he should have been more responsible?

After talking to a few mates yesterday and today, I realise that I wasn't overreacting, although I thought I was. Ad pointed out that there's no point being with someone that I'm never going to see, so I started thinking about it, but after speaking to Pete it's ok I think. At least he knows I'm aware I guess. But my bloke mates reckon he was out of order...! Mind you, Pete does too, especially after I laughed at him for being a lightweight...!

Wooooo, tomorrow it's another Team T-Bar night out...well, so far it's just Rob and me going out for a few jars, but we'll recruit some more from other departments of the store to join us!

Kim x